Permission to Express
I'm out on the land this week, so I'm sending a short favorite from 2020- building on last week's theme of joy.
*
This weekend I watched a live band fire up beautiful harmonies and fiddle to a full crowd of Millennials. Close to the end of a night, a couple in their 70s walked up and began dancing. They were the first on the floor.
I couldn't take my eyes off of them, nor could anyone else. It wasn't just because they were the coolest looking couple I've seen. He was in his finest, for Yukon, with a button-up yellow corduroy shirt, grey felt hat and a handy utility knife onto his leather belt (because you never know). She donned a funky hair cut, knitted shawl and dangly earrings.
Rather, it was their deep attunement to the music and one another. They didn't have an ounce of shyness about being the only ones up grooving. As they danced cheek to cheek to the 1,2,3 rhythm with their fingers entangled, their smiles lit up the room.
I closed my eyes, taking it all in- deeply grateful for this intimate moment that cut through all my surficial fears about the US primaries and the global virus.
A few minutes later I bumped into her in the bathroom. As we washed our hands, I told her how much their connection touched me.
She said “oh, I just love dancing”.
“He never used to" she whispered. “But we just kept practicing in our living room and then one day the dancing became his own.”
Catching the swoon in my eye (thinking about my own partner), she said “Don’t give up”, with a wink and a squeeze of my arm.
*
Don't give up.
Don't give up on breaking all the rules when you're 70. Don't give up on going for a big dream, pivoting careers or walking away from an institution that's become too small for you. Instead keep practicing whatever wants to become your own.
I’ve written elsewhere about how our inner critic sometimes plays an unhelpful role and offer you a key practice to liberate it.
My favorite dancer gave herself (and her partner) permission to be fully free. And I'm guessing her inner critic was nowhere in the room. This feels more important than ever- especially as our culture continues to impose limiting versions of success and happiness.
So if you desire more freedom at this time of your life, yet hesitate to make some new moves, I'm squeezing your arm and giving you a wink.
As for me, I might just ask that man in the grey felt hat to dance next time :)